dear Abby
Thread Topic: dear Abby
jessie
Richland, WA
Joined: Apr 5, 09 Status Level: 1 |
2009-04-05 04:20:08 |
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happygolucky44
Gainesville, FL
Joined: Mar 27, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-04-05 12:13:09 |
| Alright, I know that one should not change their plans drastically for another (ie. moving to far away places) just to start dating and see someone; especially when both are ambitious, and goal oriented, the same age but at different stages of their lives. There is a real connection, a fiery spark, even from the very limited exposure over the course of a year or two. Both can feel it, and both want to be with the other simply because their personalities fit together like two peas-in-a-pod. Things have never actually become physical, it’s an attraction based the people themselves. But both are stagnant in actions, they wait to see if fate gets them closer, attempting nothing to actively cause the gap to close. Both do realize that “you never change your plans drastically for another just to date” and, in this case, for one with a lot of potential but whom realistically you really don’t know well enough to relocate for. Are their exceptions? Dear Abby (lol) would you suggest: A) Write a note, expressing your feelings, hoping that you don’t seem scary and stalkerish; being honest. Hoping that some aspects of the mutual attractions become more transparent. But risking the relationship as it is now; perhaps introduce serious feelings into a relaxed and fun relationship, which for now, can not be changed, and retrospectively, doesn’t warrant seriousness yet. B) Continue to see each other when you the opportunity affords itself (both make an equal effort when they are in the same area) and maintain the low level of flirtation knowing things are just too far away to deal with right now; rely on serendipity. C) Remove hopes that a relationship of any kind will ever form, maintain the friendship, but tone things down. Essentially, move on. This is advice for my roommate’s bother-in-law’s aunt’s second cousin’s best friend’s son! lol Goodluck Abby! I know you don’t know the people involved, or their locations…Itll be interesting to see what you can come up with! |
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jessie
Richland, WA
Joined: Apr 5, 09 Status Level: 1 |
2009-04-05 16:58:05 |
| your suggestions are good but i would combine all there into D)feeling should always be expressed never hidden. obviously someone is wanting this to be more than it is from the sounds of it.than from there in telling how one feels the other can react,now how they react well determine the out come of course. if the outcome is they don't want seriousness yet how long is that person willing to wait or that person can move on and they can keep the friendship as is. |
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arwen
Sugar Land, TX
Joined: Feb 24, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-04-20 11:08:23 |
| i personally dont believe in getting to know someone over the internet, so i would suggest getting a week out of your schedule planned, and just hang out with the person during the week, but in public places. a way to be not stalkerish is to say "hey, listen, youy seem really cool, and i was wondering if you would like to actually meet in person, but we can do whatever your comfortable with. if you do not want to meet, i completely understand." | |
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happygolucky44
Gainesville, FL
Joined: Mar 27, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-04-25 18:23:52 |
| Both suggestions were well thought out and I appreciate that. I ended up having a great phone conversation with her that lasted for almost two hours. The topic came up about her coming down to Florida for the weekend - since she was unable to do so during thanksgiving weekend. She really wanted to, and tried but school just could not be missed – she just got her licensure and this is the last month of classes before she graduates. I was hopeful; she would have visited the last weekend I would be here in Florida. However, I didn’t realistically think she would be able to pull it off. The conversation also afforded an easy, not-so-dramatic opportunity to express some feeling – on mine, and her end - and the hope we could go out have a nice dinner on the beach, relaxing, and getting to know each other. There is a balance struck, we have been – I think - honest with each other as much as a distance of 1500 miles will allow. Our communication has been in person, and over the phone solely– I agree with you arwen; the internet is a difficult, and less meaningful approach to friendship, or familiarity. We know we like each other and want to get to know each other; it’s just the damn timing of it all. Had we lived in closer proximity, he would have had the answers to all this. The conversations, past histories, and similarities and differences, would surly culminate in us becoming good friends or more. But as it is, we stand in no-mans-land unable to move forward, but reluctant to move back; friends without friendship. That takes this rambling back to the original question I had. to paraphrase: “Is it worth the risk to relocate, or to change some important plans, because the potential of having met the right person is so very strong” The answer I am coming to is that it may not be wrong, but it certainly isn’t right. There needs to be more, frustratingly. We are both very driven, and focused people. We each could sacrifice, but in this stage I can understand her reluctance, and of course I know my own. Again timing. Any other time, we could meet and that would be the end to our collective search; but not now. We most have be reliant on a serendipitous fate. So, to answer my own question…I will take option B for $1000 Alex! |
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arwen
Sugar Land, TX
Joined: Feb 24, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-05-04 13:16:32 |
| isnt option B my advice? lol. it would make sense, but my name is mollie, not alex. lol | |
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arwen
Sugar Land, TX
Joined: Feb 24, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-05-20 13:07:33 |
| aaaaaaaaaaaaany ways, whats up with everyone? im so bored! ya'll need to log on more! it makes it more fun! | |
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happygolucky44
Omaha, NE
Joined: Mar 27, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-05-20 18:36:38 |
| lol...I guess you are bored! | |
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arwen
Sugar Land, TX
Joined: Feb 24, 09 Status Level: 3 |
2009-05-21 10:41:55 |
| jeez. its just like, no one else really posts too much. im on here every day cuz i have two computer classes at school and i finish before everyone else. its boring, so i come here. but no one ever has anything to say | |
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singingteacher
Brighton, TN
Joined: Apr 14, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-05-21 15:46:15 |
| Ask questions, funny ones or serious ones. At least Happy or I will respond...I'm on everyday except Sunday in the afternoon. | |
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happygolucky44
Omaha, NE
Joined: Mar 27, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-05-21 18:13:07 |
| Same here...everyday! I just get caught up in politics and stuff...I am truly more happy go lucky then I may same - like my screen name! Anybody an NBA fan? if so, cavs or magic? Where is the coolest place you have ever been too? anyone? | |
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singingteacher
Brighton, TN
Joined: Apr 14, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-05-21 18:19:34 |
| Oh my, NBA, hmmmm....... I don't know between the teams you named. I am more into college sports than professional, except for soccer. Love professional soccer... So, I'll go with the Cavs. Love the mascot. Coolest place I've been is a town in Germany called Heidelberg and saw the Heidelberg Castle. I also got to see three other castles of King Ludwigs and the Abbey where Sound of Music was filmed. Sang in three cathedrals |
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singingteacher
Brighton, TN
Joined: Apr 14, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-05-21 18:20:17 |
| and apparently can't finish a post without sending it. So Where have you been that is just totally awesome? or wicked... |
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happygolucky44
Omaha, NE
Joined: Mar 27, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-05-21 19:14:15 |
| I have got to say in Aix France...I got to actually live there - not a a tourest - and become self-sufficient! It was such a unique experience, and I was by myself when I got there and left with some awsome friends I still get in touch with....it was fun because of the experience! That is awsome about singing where the sound of music was filmed! |
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singingteacher
Brighton, TN
Joined: Apr 14, 09 Status Level: 2 |
2009-05-22 18:43:38 |
| Thanks,do speak French still or have you lost some of it? I can speak French and Spanish pretty well but if I have a song in front of me, I can pretty much sing anything that is written with our alphabet. Comes with the territory I guess...but don't ask me to tell you what the words actually mean (unless I have a translation) |
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